Ruby K. - Diagnosed at age 23

Why me?? Is the question I asked myself every day. I was diagnosed with lupus (SLE) in age 23 while I was pregnant with my 1st child. I didn't know what lupus was or had any information. I was not able to breastfeed my son because I had to be on steroids. Lupus only affected my joints and I started to have migraines when diagnosed.

My husband and I wanted to have another child but I was told by my rheumatologist if I have another child my health could get worse. I took the risk, 2015 got pregnant. My 2nd son was born premature. And my health went down the hill from there.

2017 I had a bad migraine and eye redness. Went to ER. Was diagnosed with brain aneurysms and blood clot in the brain. I got admitted to hospital and had so many tests done. I got my brain aneurysms coiling but after surgery, I had blood clot in my leg. Was on crutches for a month. After 1 week I had 2 strokes. Treatment after treatment. Test after tests and meds after meds.

Lupus was causing my blood to cloth, brain aneurysms, arthritis, fibromyalgia, fatigue and pain. I can’t play with my kids because I’m always tired. Lupus has changed my life. My family thinks I look fine so I feel fine too but I only know what I feel. I smile around everyone but when I’m alone I cry.

Painful days and night, meds after meds, can’t talk to someone who understands. Sometimes I feel like screaming, crying but then I say to myself I can’t give up. I have to do this for my kids. I have to fight this battle for my kids. I wish there was cure for this so mothers like me could have normal life with the kids and not worry about how much pain they will be in tomorrow.

“All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.” - Robin Williams